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Lilies and Lambs

Just shy of two years ago, I became a mom. It was the greatest day of my life, for sure. And it changed me to my very core.

Some changes were temporary, others more permanent; some physical, many emotional. All of them for the better.

And over the past two years, I've found myself doing, saying, and feeling things I would have never thought I would do, say, or feel before. But if there's one thing I've learned about motherhood, it's to expect the unexpected, and embrace it.

Here are a few unexpected things I often find myself saying as a mom:

Thank God For Nap Time

Before I had my little one, I absolutely would have cringed had I heard a mother say, "Thank god, my kid's sleeping!"

I would have likely judged; particularly in those times when I was struggling so hard for a child of my own. And I'm sympathetic to my former self; but motherhood has made me judgment-adverse. And I'm also sympathetic to my current self- the worn-out one that, on same days, will lose my sanity if my kid doesn't nap. Some days, the whole morning is spent in hopes of attaining the Holy Grail that is Naptime. We read, and sing, and play, and run around; and sometimes take a drive- just to reach that blessed state of slumber.

And sometimes that mom-guilt creeps up. I should want to be with my kid all day long, right?

But I also should wash my hair more than once a week. And so I cut myself just a little bit of mom-slack.

You're just Like Your Father

And I mean this in the BEST way possible. 

As an introvert that has always been the perfect storm of shyness and social awkwardness, I never imagined I'd have a child like MM. She is an extrovert to the core. She has no fear. She is social to the extreme. She waves "hi" to strangers and blows kisses at our local grocer. She won't sit still in any baby class. In fact she is more comfortable stealing the teacher's seat as soon as she stands up. And at first, I was baffled.

How did I make this child? 

But then I remembered: she is just half mine. And the other half belongs to her father- who's all those things and more. And while he's not all perfect, she certainly got the best parts of him. And for that, I'm grateful. And, sometimes, just a little bit jealous.

I'm More Than Mom

Before I became a mom, it was all that I wanted to be. As I've shared before {here}, I was blessed with a mom that naturally perfected the job from the start. She lived, and continues to live, for taking care of us- for making us feel comfortable, secure, loved, and full- specifically with respect to our bellies. So for most of my life, I longed to become a mom myself, so I could make my own children feel that same blissful feeling I had growing up. And now that I am a mom, I'm finally able to do that for my MM.

But I've also learned that, for me, being a mom isn't always enough. I'm also a wife, a friend, a sister, a daughter, and a part-time blogger. And what makes me so fulfilled in this stage of my life, as a mom, is to remain all those other things.

And that takes work. And time. And sacrifice. And sometimes, allowing others to take over for a little bit. But it's also what allows me to be the best mom I can be. Just like mine was.

She is Nuts

And by she, I mean my daughter. That sweet baby girl I prayed for. The one that took me years to get. The one that is my soul mate; that I can't live without. She, my dear friends, is a goddam lunatic. My MM, not yet two, is a full on two-nager. She has the ability to be laughing and giggling and shining like the brightest light in the room, to throwing herself on the ground in a fit of emotion in an instant. Those terrible two's are no joke, folks. So thank god I think she's so cute. And for wine. Thank god for wine, too.

There's Happiness in the Chaos

If you follow along here, then you know I'm a perfectionist and planner by nature. Type-A to a fault. But motherhood has changed that for me. And I've learned to roll with the punches. Motherhood is messy. It's exhausting, and humbling, and colorfully chaotic. But it's also rewarding, and utterly worth it. And we wouldn't have it any other way.