Three weeks into the new year and my head has been in a bit of a fog. In fact, if I’m being honest, it's pretty wiped out.
I blame this mostly on a cold/ flu that recently ravaged our household. It was horrible, and painful, and totally kicked our butts.
But I also blame it, in part, on a tiny little two-nager that has moved in to our house. She looks just like our Maddie Mae, but she’s prone to bossiness, mood swings and loves the word “No.” And she snuck right in.
I guess our baby girl is growing up; and it’s so sweet to see in so many ways.
But I’m also learning that what they say about this age is true. And this is a space of honesty- and I would be lying if I didn’t admit that we are certainly knee deep in the Terrific Twos.
There have been tantrums. There are tears. There has been the occasional hair pull. And some screams, too. And even though my brain knows better, I can’t help but think I’m failing in these tiny moments; like I haven’t taught her something crucial that would help us avoid this stage of growing up altogether.
And recently my brain has been consumed by the familiar twinge of self-doubt and self-criticism that comes with being a mom. The kind that convinces you that you’re falling short.
I’ve allowed myself to feel frustrated and embarrassed; tired and overwhelmed. And for a moment, it got the best of me.
And while I don’t have the anecdote to this stage of toddlerhood, I do know that like all other trying times in motherhood, this too, will pass. And history has taught me it’s a whole lot more worthwhile to focus on the good, rather than the bad.
And there is so much good. An abundance of it.
Like all the unsolicited times she says she loves me. The times I catch her singing with such infectious passion. Every time we’ve gone to a restaurant without a fry being thrown or a tear being shed. Every giggle. Every smile. And all those tiny moments in between.
And just like those sleepless newborn nights; or those tired sick days; or the weeks spent cutting teeth or learning to walk- we will get through this stage, too. Together, and with so much love.
And like everything else, with a little bit of patience, too.