Two Years Ago

Two years ago, I didn’t realize April would become such an important month for us. 

Two years ago I knew nothing about Autism other than it was something to be terrified of. 

Two years ago I didn’t know our world was about to be changed-

I didn’t know my patience and faith would be tested. I didn’t know friends and family would disappoint. I didn’t know our life wouldn’t be going as planned. 

I also didn’t know it wasn’t the end of the world-

I didn’t know it wasn’t a diagnosis to be feared. 

I didn’t know that I would find patience in myself that I never thought possible. 

I didn’t know that the very thing I feared would only strengthen our family beyond measure.

That those that disappointed us only left room for the world to bless us with the most amazing support system. 

Our team. 

That being an autism mom would make me better. 

That it would bring my own healing; That it would help me become the person I was meant to be.

I didn’t know that the thing I feared most would become the very thing that gave me the most amount of confidence and peace and joy as a mother.

And had I known all these unknowns before- our diagnosis wouldn’t have been so terrifying-

I wouldn’t have wasted time grieving things I hadn’t lost. 

I would’ve celebrated sooner. 

I would’ve laughed more. 

I would have moved through this process with more grace and less shame. 

I’m sharing this in celebration of autism awareness because there is no acceptance without awareness. 

And I won’t stop until this world is a kinder, safer place for my girl. 

If you’re like me, know there’s joy in this journey. 

There’s always magic in the mess.

And you, too, were made for this.