Today my husband and I celebrate four years of marriage together.
Four years filled with laughter and tears; trying and triumphs; challenges and successes.
In those four years we made our girl. I turned thirty. We said goodbye to our first fur baby. We welcomed a crazy black lab to the family. We've become better friends. And better versions of ourselves.
Read MoreFirst day of school down, and I have to say: both mom and mini didn't do half bad. Actually, if we're being honest, she did better than the former.
I carried her into her classroom, yes; and while she played shy for 15 seconds, as soon as her little pink sneaker hit that floor she was off. And she never looked back.
Read MoreMy girl starts her very first day of school next week, and its making me just a tad emotional.
Yes, I'm very {very} excited to have a few hours to myself, a few days a week- to get some work done, tidy up the house and run the occasional errand that just can't be done with toddler in tow.
Read MoreYesterday, I did something foolish- as I do nearly every day.
I desperately tried to enjoy a meal out. At a restaurant. With my toddler.
Read MoreThroughout my fertility journey I enjoyed a rollercoaster of feelings and emotions, many of which were new to me entirely. And as a result, it momentarily changed me- the very essence of who I was at times; inevitably shifting the relationships I had with those around me. Particularly when it came to my more fertile counterparts.
Read MoreIf you follow along here, you know that infertility is something I struggled with before finally conceiving our daughter through IVF in 2014. It's a topic that is such a large part of my story, and continues to be something we grapple with as we strive to complete our family. After much soul-searching, we took the leap to try for another baby last fall.
Read MoreThe holidays are officially over and we have returned from our vacation in dreamy California. It was a lovely holiday season that, as always, went way too quickly. But we are back at home, and happy to settle back in our routine and into the new year.
Typically I'm not one for New Year's Resolutions. But I do try to take the start of a new year to refocus on what makes me feel good- inside and out. Sometimes its just a simple tweak that can make all the difference. And because I'm a big believer in writing down what we need and want, here are a few things I'm committing to in 2017:
Read MoreAnd just like that: it's 2017. A new year. A fresh start. A clean slate.
And while I see many abundantly happy to say goodbye to 2016, that really has never been my style. Not even when it comes to the really trying years. Because while some are happier than others, each year- it's triumphs and challenges- give us great opportunity to grow; to become better versions of ourselves. To identify our strengths and improve on our weaknesses.
Read MoreMotherhood. You're a tricky one, for sure. Madeline turns eighteen-months next week; and in those months I've learned a lot. So, so much. And most days, I feel like I've gotten pretty good at this job. But I've also learned that there will be days when I feel like I've learned nothing at all. And I'll feel like I've failed. And objectively, on those days, I might have; at certain things. But I'm OK with these tiny "failures." Because they come with the territory. And if you look at the scheme of things, they're not really failures at all, but are just part of the ride; and the beauty outweighs the ugly. By a mile.
Read MoreIf you're going to be cooped up in the house due to days on days of rain, it may as well be the first week of December- giving us loads of time to delve into some of our most beloved holiday traditions. And because we picked up our tree over Thanksgiving Weekend- as is tree-dition- we were all set to unwrap ornaments, trim the tree, and enjoy lazy morning and afternoons amongst our decorations. Yes, the holidays are in full swing- and not even a few days of rain can bring us down.
Read MorePeople said a lot of strange things to me during that year struggling to conceive; most of which I chalked up to the the fact that most people just didn't know what to say. I've been that person, too, at times- one really wanting to comfort or encourage, but at a loss as to how to do so.
In that year most people cheered us on; many asked questions; others said nothing at all. But all of them cried happy tears when they heard our good news. So I believe all of it came from a good place.
Read MoreIf you're new around here, let me take a moment to introduce my first born. While not my biological child, this fur baby we call Henry was perhaps my first real love. For many years I happily referred to him as my soul mate. In terms of dogs, you just can't get much better.
He's a love. He's protective- but only when he needs to be. He's easy. He naps and chills. He's active when you want him to be. He's cuddled me through Sunday Scaries. He was my baby when I struggled to be a mom.
Read MoreThey say that as a mom, there are some days that you'll feel like you can barely get out of your pjs and brush your teeth; while other days you feel like you can rule the world.
For me, most days are somewhere in between- Maddie will always be fed, she has a daily bath, and most of the time (thanks to Nana) she'll be dressed to the nines; whereas you can usually find me in sweats, rarely getting half way through a cup of coffee before it turns ice cold.
But somehow yesterday was one of my more productive days...
Read MoreBefore Maddie was born, my mother had a dream about her future granddaughter. I was mid-way through my pregnancy and knee-deep in envisioning what my daughter would someday be like. Who would she look like? What would she smell like? Would she be happy or fussy or somewhere in between? Would she be gifted with our best qualities or cursed with our worst?
It's a conversation we'd have often- a guessing game with no real right answer, other than to have a healthy baby girl.
In her dream, my mother's reverie painted the picture of a free-spirited blondie- a girly-girl twirling her skirt, dancing barefoot on the grass; with not a care in the world. She called me the next morning to share her predictions of my little one- giggling to herself as she imagined this carefree foil to my very tightly wound self. I think it made her the perfect combination of both nervous for me and slightly satisfied- the way grandmothers can sometimes feel when their daughter's first discover what it's like to grapple with their own children's personalities. {Some might call it karma.}
And it made me somewhat nervous too, at the time.
Read MoreIf I've learned anything about motherhood in the last year it's that just when you start to get comfortable it will throw you a curveball that will set you right in your place.
I caught one of those curveballs in the early months when my little one first tried rolling over during a routine diaper change. That day I quickly learned that the changing table was no longer a safe place, and, from that moment on, would forever required the upmost attention {and very quick hands}.
Yesterday was one of those learning days.
Read MoreMother’s Day is almost here. This year being my first as a mom.
Up until now, I ascribed to the notion that this day was just another Hallmark Holiday. A day for us to send flowers, buy a nice card, or maybe a gift certificate to the spa.
But I now know that its so much more than that- more than macaroni art from a Kindergartener or a piece of jewelry from Tiffany’s.
When I first had my Madeline Mae, I was told the same adage over and over:
The days are long but the years are short.
What? I didn’t get it at first; but now that ten months have passed in the blink of an eye, I do.
Days are long: They are tired. They are caffeine-fueled. They are spit-up filled. They are sometimes showerless. They are comprised of missteps and learning opportunities. And they are exhausting. But, boy, do they go by fast.
I’ve gone back and forth as to what I will ask for this Mother’s Day- fantasizing about my very first one in the early morning haze of motherhood...
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